"You got the part!" -Vik
I've been a thespian most of my life - OK, OK, I can hear some of your snickering - I said "thespian" not "lesbian!" Yes, a Thespian - an actor or actress. I've acted since I was a kid in grade school thanks to my dad, Eddy McGinnis, who was not only a big band drummer and singer, but a proud graduate of the American Academy of Dramatic Arts. Yes, he was a thespian too. So, needless to say by the time I'd gotten through college and was the "romantic lead" in Bells Are Ringing, Anything Goes and Mame (ahem, I had the title role of Auntie Mame in this one... no romantic lead here! Nope - finally, I was the brassy, sassy, outspoken character I'd always hoped to be!) I was ready to become a star.
I had my picture and resume on hand at all times, and my portfolio of other situational promotional photos of me in various (and ridiculous) lifestyle poses: Vik with glasses on, sporting a contemplative look; Vik in a bathing suit, sitting next to a non-existent pool (make the leap audience...); Vik with a long skirt, high boots and legwarmers with a coy smile on her face for that, "I can be the young women kissing her boyfriend (c'mon, I wasn't OUT yet!) at a country fair in a new Dentyne commercial or I can be Erica Kane's niece on All My Children look." Yes, that was my life. Auditions, Auditions, Auditions (and the obligatory waitress job at night and Sunday Brunch (of course - it's NYC in the 80's for God's sake - Brunch was THE THING TO DO!)
One morning my agent calls me (it sounds oh so much more "fame and fortune" than it is, but yes, I had an agent) and says, "Victoria, I've got THE job for you! They need a juggler!" Fortunately, I learned how to juggle during my many hours of dance, stage fighting, Shakespearean quarterstaff jousting and Elizabethan fencing in my "Movement For The Actor" class at Fordham U. "GREAT!" I answered, "Yes, I can do that!" I mean, I did study court jester juggling, ya' know! I got this! Next day, I go on the audition, equipped with the memorized script my agent had faxed me (no email back then folks - faxing was the tech star of the day) and I'm ready to take the producers by storm. I go in. Oddly enough, there were no other actors waiting outside to audition - which fortunately meant I didn't have to sit and look at all the same women I see at EVERY SINGLE AUDITION or any other women that I just know in my heart of hearts is better suited, better looking or just better than I am. No one was waiting. So, I go right in. About 5 people are sitting at a long table. The Producers. The Advertising Agency. The Mars Rep. A Casting Director. 5 of them. I say hello and they do, too. All smiles here. Wow, they are so friendly. "Ok Victoria, do you need the script?" Nope, I tell them, I've got it memorized. "Great, so all you have to do is say the lines while you juggle - can you do that?" "Sure," I tell them, "no problem."
I do a fantastic job of feeling and being my character as I talk about how it's not easy juggling so many things in a day and how having a Snickers at the end of the day makes it all worth it. I was sublime, if I do say so myself! So method acting! (I ate 7 Snickers the night before while juggling and being "in the moment" of my overworked character's life!) They looked at me... they told me I was brilliant. "You've got the job, Victoria. We begin filming on Monday of next week - We'll give your agent all the details."
"I got the job???? I got the job??? Just like that??? Oh Wow, Ok, Great!" As I gathered my portfolio and said goodbye to The 5, I knew that this had to be one of the best feelings of elation I had ever felt in all my years of auditioning.
"Oh, Victoria," one of The 5 shouted after me, breaking my reverie,
"Forgot to ask - Will you be bringing the unicycle or should we?"
"Uh, Unicycle?" I said. "Yes, he said, "Didn't your agent tell you you'd be reciting your lines and juggling WHILE riding a unicycle? Uh, you do ride a unicycle... don't you?"
"Um, no, my agent didn't tell me and no, I don't know how to ride a unicycle." I said, looking down at the ground. I hesitated and then asked "So, does that mean I didn't get the part?"
"I'm sorry, Victoria."
Yup, and just like that, I won and lost a commercial in 10 minutes... Well, at least that explained why no one was waiting to audition!