I've been a thespian most of my life - OK, OK, I can hear some of your snickering - I said "thespian" not "lesbian!"  Yes, a Thespian - an actor or actress.  I've acted since I was a kid in grade school thanks to my dad, Eddy McGinnis, who was not only a big band drummer and singer, but a proud graduate of the American Academy of Dramatic Arts.  Yes, he was a thespian too.  So, needless to say by the time I'd gotten through college and was the "romantic lead" in Bells Are Ringing, Anything Goes and Mame (ahem, I had the title role of Auntie Mame in this one... no romantic lead here! Nope - finally, I was the brassy, sassy, outspoken character I'd always hoped to be!) I was ready to become a star.

I had my picture and resume on hand at all times, and my portfolio of other situational promotional photos of me in various (and ridiculous) lifestyle poses:  Vik with glasses on, sporting a contemplative look; Vik in a bathing suit, sitting next to a non-existent pool (make the leap audience...); Vik with a long skirt, high boots and legwarmers with a coy smile on her face for that, "I can be the young women kissing her boyfriend (c'mon, I wasn't OUT yet!) at a country fair in a new Dentyne commercial or I can be Erica Kane's niece on All My Children look."  Yes, that was my life.  Auditions, Auditions, Auditions (and the obligatory waitress job at night and Sunday Brunch (of course - it's NYC in the 80's for God's sake - Brunch was THE THING TO DO!)

One morning my agent calls me (it sounds oh so much more "fame and fortune" than it is, but yes, I had an agent) and says, "Victoria, I've got THE job for you!  They need a juggler!" Fortunately, I learned how to juggle during my many hours of dance, stage fighting, Shakespearean quarterstaff jousting and Elizabethan fencing in my "Movement For The Actor" class at Fordham U.  "GREAT!" I answered, "Yes,  I can do that!" I mean, I did study court jester juggling, ya' know!  I got this!  Next day, I go on the audition, equipped with the memorized script my agent had faxed me (no email back then folks - faxing was the tech star of the day) and I'm ready to take the producers by storm.  I go in.  Oddly enough, there were no other actors waiting outside to audition - which fortunately meant I didn't have to sit and look at all the same women I see at EVERY SINGLE AUDITION or any other women that I just know in my heart of hearts is better suited, better looking or just better than I am.  No one was waiting. So, I go right in.  About 5 people are sitting at a long table.  The Producers. The Advertising Agency. The Mars Rep.  A Casting Director.  5 of them.  I say hello and they do, too.  All smiles here.  Wow, they are so friendly.  "Ok Victoria, do you need the script?"  Nope, I tell them, I've got it memorized.  "Great, so all you have to do is say the lines while you juggle - can you do that?"  "Sure," I tell them, "no problem." 

I do a fantastic job of feeling and being my character as I talk about how it's not easy juggling so many things in a day and how having a Snickers at the end of the day makes it all worth it.  I was sublime, if I do say so myself!  So method acting!  (I ate 7 Snickers the night before while juggling and being "in the moment" of my overworked character's life!)  They looked at me... they told me I was brilliant.  "You've got the job, Victoria.  We begin filming on Monday of next week - We'll give your agent all the details." 

"I got the job????  I got the job???  Just like that???  Oh Wow, Ok, Great!"  As I gathered my portfolio and said goodbye to The 5, I knew that this had to be one of the best feelings of elation I had ever felt in all my years of auditioning. 
"Oh, Victoria," one of The 5 shouted after me, breaking my reverie,
"Forgot to ask - Will you be bringing the unicycle or should we?"

"Uh, Unicycle?" I said.  "Yes, he said, "Didn't your agent tell you you'd be reciting your lines and juggling WHILE riding a unicycle? Uh, you do ride a unicycle... don't you?"

"Um, no, my agent didn't tell me and no, I don't know how to ride a unicycle." I said, looking down at the ground.  I hesitated and then asked "So, does that mean I didn't get the part?"

"I'm sorry, Victoria."

Yup, and just like that, I won and lost a commercial in 10 minutes...  Well, at least that explained why no one was waiting to audition!